Frilly McFinn 00Burger
It was a bright day in the sweet town of Kaysville and everything was starting to wake up and shine. Kaysville is a simple town made up of quaint neighborhoods, small businesses, gas stations, a library, and a few places to eat.
Frilly McFinn was out for his daily walk and just like always, he decided to go stroll down main street downtown. Places like McDonalds, 7-11, Wendy’s, and Chevron are always full or bright happy people, who Frilly always loves to hear. Yes, to hear. You see, Frilly is totally normal except for when it comes to the face that Frilly wasn’t born with any eyes. Not having these eyes however, has created something that no man has ever had before. Believe it or not, Frilly’s ears, over the years, have matured and advanced to a point where they see for him! So, if Frilly ever needs to know anything like directions, or a view of his surroundings, why he’ll just ask his ears and they’ll tell him. Anyway, these ears have helped him become one of the greatest undercover agents ever. Who would ever suspect a blind guy, ya know? Well, those agent years are over now and Frilly and his ears are now living the rest of their lives to their fullest.
“To the right, to the right!” Frilly’s right ear screamed. “You’re about to run into that pole.”
“Oh, shut up. I can see a lot better over here and I say he had at least four inches to spare,” argued the left ear.
“Be quiet both of you,” Frilly croaked, “just get me back home for my nap.”
A little girl in front of Frilly turned around. She wore a blue dress and had two long ponytails of bright red hair. “Who are you talking to?” asked the girl.
“Well, hello little girl, I was just talking to my ears,” Frilly sweetly told the girl.
“Oh,” grinned the little girl with long pigtails. She noticed his missing eyes. “Do you need some help in getting back home?”
“Thank you, but I think I’ll just follow my nose back to those waffles I just baked,” Frilly answered.
The girl smiled and turned back around. But just then, Frilly heard the little girl scream. A man in a yellow suit with red hair had just popped out of a bush and snatched the girl.
“Are you okay?” Frilly screamed.
“Of course she isn’t, stupid,” informed his right ear. “A man just stole her, hurry, there he goes!”
The yellow suited man jumped into a red car and took off with the girl.
“Hurry Frilly,” his left ear cried. “Get in that car to your left, we got ourselves a car chase. It’s just like old times.”
Frilly opened the car door and yanked the driver out. “Bud off, this is secret agent business,” Frilly roared. He strapped his seat belt and took off.
“U-turn, u-turn!” Yelled his ears.
“Hold on to your ear drums cause we’re going for a ride!” Frilly hollered as he quickly turned the car. “That man is going to be locked up where he can never see the light of day again.”
“What do you know about seeing the light of day?” giggled his left ear.
“Hey, you just help me follow him or I might just go and get my ears pierced,” Frilly warned his ears.
They were chasing the car for a while until it finally turned off the road into a large warrehouse. Frilly decided to wait just a second before going inside. “What do we have here, boys?” he asked.
“I’m not quite sure, It’s like some sort of large food company storage place,” informed his ear.
“Well lets go get her!” charged Frilly. Frilly snuck in the door and laid low in the shadows. “Do you see them?” he whispered.
“Yeah, he’s got her tied to a chair with a fast food meal next to her,” spoke one of his ears.
“So Wendy,” spoke the yellow suited red hair man. “You think that you can beat me with your Frosty’s, your Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, and your square pieces of meat?”
“Eat fry sauce Ronald, you… you non-funny clown! At least little kids aren’t scared of me!!” Wendy cried.
“That does it, open wide because here comes a Big Mac, ready for a landing,” babbled Ronald McDonald, swinging a big tasty burger towards her face.
“Stop!” Frilly commanded. “I am a secret agent and you, sir, are going to prison!” He got out a set of handcuffs.
“No way,” argued Ronald. He grabbed a happy meal toy. “You really think these are just toys?” He turned it sideways and bent it in half, revealing a small opening. “Good bye, agent.” He pointed it at Frilly and fired.
Frilly fell to the floor and stayed there, dead.
“You monster!” screamed Wendy.
“Now where were we?'” Ronald grinned, “oh yes, the Big Mac.” He turned back to Wendy.
“Wait!” wailed Wendy, “you can’t really waste one of those delicious Big Mac’s on just a little girl like me, now can you?”
“You’re right,” drooled Ronald. He ate the whole thing in two seconds flat.
“Ha ha ha, you fool, jokes on you,” laughed Wendy, “you forgot the one thing that makes Wendy’s better than McDonalds. We use fresh meat.”
“Nooooo..” Ronald wailed and fell dead a few moments later from food poisoning.
Wendy sat there tied to her chair looking at both dead bodies on the ground. “Glad that’s over,” she thought.
Yes, now the bad guy’s dead, the hero’s dead, and the damsel in distress is left tied to a chair. And how did she get out? Lucky for her a man named Dave Thomas came to start his work shift just a few minutes later and when finding her, set her free. DId you really think that he started the first Wendy’s?
THE END
